Sibling Relationships
Sibling relationships are often a child’s first and longest-lasting social connection. These bonds can offer companionship, support and opportunities to develop important life skills such as empathy, negotiation and conflict resolution. However, like all close relationships, sibling dynamics can be complex. Differences in temperament, age, needs and parental attention can all contribute to tension or rivalry. It’s not uncommon for children to compete for attention, especially during times of change or stress.
As a parent or caregiver, your role in shaping the tone of sibling relationships is vital. Creating a home environment that celebrates each child’s unique strengths and avoids direct comparisons helps reduce rivalry and fosters mutual respect. It’s important to remember that occasional arguments or disagreements are normal and can even be opportunities for learning. By listening without judgement, teaching emotional regulation and supporting each child’s individuality, we can help young people develop positive, lasting sibling bonds that last throughout their lives.
Hold regular family meetings
Set aside time each week for a relaxed family discussion where everyone can express how they’re feeling, share highlights or concerns and solve problems together. This reinforces that their voices matter.
Use consistent and fair discipline
When conflicts arise, avoid assigning blame or taking sides. Instead, focus on the behaviour, not the child. Be consistent in applying family rules which reduces resentment and promotes a sense of justice.
Establish shared responsibilities
Encourage siblings to work together on age-appropriate chores or projects. Shared goals, such as setting the table or looking after a pet, help foster cooperation and mutual appreciation.
Teach “I” statements
Support your children in using language that expresses their feelings without blaming others. For example, “I feel sad when I’m left out,” instead of “You never include me.”
Praise teamwork
Praise moments when siblings show kindness, compromise or work together by using positive reinforcement. This encourages them to repeat that behaviour and builds a stronger sibling bond.
Avoid using labels
Avoid using labels such as “the smart one” or “the troublemaker.” These can lead to rivalry and self-fulfilling behaviours. Instead, celebrate each child’s unique strengths and encourage personal growth
Encourage perspective-taking
When siblings argue, guide them to reflect on how the other person might be feeling. Ask questions like, “How do you think your sister felt when that happened?” This helps build empathy and understanding.
Ensure one-on-one time
Regular individual time helps children feel seen and valued outside of their sibling role. It reduces competition for attention and strengthens the parent-child relationship.
Celebrate each other’s successes
Encourage your children to cheer each other on. Whether it’s a school achievement or sports win, acknowledging each other’s milestones fosters pride and reduces envy between siblings
Create rituals for connection
Establish shared sibling rituals such as board game nights, shared hobbies or weekend walks. These enjoyable and repeated experiences strengthen emotional bonds and create positive memories.